Person’s eyes shifting focus while looking at EMDR letter blocks, representing the eye movement process in EMDR trauma therapy.

Breaking the Cycle: How EMDR Redefines Trauma Recovery

Imagine living with painful memories that resurface at the most inconvenient times: a casual conversation with a friend, a peaceful moment at home, or even amid an important work or school meeting. Suddenly, you are overwhelmed by emotions you have not had in a while – almost as if the past is replaying itself in your mind. For many of my clients, this was the daily reality of living with unresolved trauma. It can feel like a never-ending cycle, with no clear path forward. I often left these sessions feeling their frustrations, wondering what else I could do to help these clients when they reached a crossroads. This is when I discovered a different path. From Doubt to Discovery When I first heard about Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing, commonly known as EMDR therapy, I was skeptical. This therapy claimed not only to help alleviate the symptoms of trauma and PTSD, but also to reprocess the traumatic memories themselves, offering a path to deeper healing and resolution. It sounded almost too good to be true. Could a therapeutic approach really change how we experience our past and help us move forward with more peace and clarity? As with any treatment I use, I insisted on experiencing it firsthand before I was comfortable using it with my clients. Therefore, when searching for an internship to complete my master’s degree, I knew I wanted to join a clinic that actively practiced EMDR. By this point, I had written countless papers on trauma, read hundreds of journal articles, and spent hours researching the effectiveness of EMDR. Yet, I still was not convinced. So, with the consent of the client, the clinic allowed me to watch an EMDR session from start to finish, where I was able to observe the incredible progress that occurred. By the end of the session, I was not only confident this could help, but I was excited and hopeful. As I went through the extensive process of becoming EMDR trained, I had the opportunity to experience the treatment from a client perspective. I distinctly remember that at the end of that week, I was lying in bed when I felt like a weight had lifted off my shoulders, but I could not pinpoint why. I brushed it off and went back to bed. It was not until a few weeks later that I realized the true impact of those sessions. When a distressing memory surfaced and no longer triggered the same emotional response or disruption in my thoughts and behaviours, I had my “Aha!” moment. The EMDR sessions had truly made a noticeable difference. So…Why Does it Work? At this point, you may be wondering, “How is this possible?” When I ask clients about trauma, I often hear, “I might have some trauma, but it’s not that big or important.” The truth is, trauma comes in many forms, both big and small. Whether it’s a “big-T” trauma like a major accident or a “small-T” trauma like repeated rejection or hurtful comments, anything that distresses us and leaves a lasting emotional impact can be considered trauma. It is not about the size of the event, but how it affects you. When traumatic memories are not fully processed by the brain, this may lead to intrusive thoughts, flashbacks, nightmares, and intense emotional responses that replay on an endless loop, leaving us feeling helpless at times. EMDR helps to deal with unprocessed memories by reworking them in our brain, so they have less emotional impact, making it easier to fit these memories into our life story in a healthier, more adaptable way. Since its development in the late 1980s by American psychologist Dr. Francine Shapiro, EMDR has gained recognition as an effective approach to treating conditions such as post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), anxiety, depression, and panic disorders. However, it does not just stop there. EMDR has also been shown to help with areas such as phobias, chronic pain, and grief. Its effectiveness is just as impressive: studies show that 77% of those with multiple traumas no longer experienced PTSD after an average of six 50-minute EMDR therapy sessions (Shapiro, 2014). Bilateral Stimulation: A Balancing Act I sometimes hear clients tell me that they have tried therapy over and over, and it just does not work for them – the memories are still triggering, and the distress is still high. This is where I love to introduce EMDR. It is not your traditional talk therapy. Very little talking happens during the reprocessing stages. The therapy takes place over eight phases, including a preparation stage where I ensure clients are provided with coping strategies and skills to feel confident when they leave our sessions. However, a core component of EMDR occurs as we begin to desensitize the memory. Shapiro accidentally discovered the core idea behind EMDR one day when she was out in nature: bilateral stimulation. This can be achieved through rapid eye movements (REM), which mimic the REM that occur during sleep and help two parts of the brain work together to process information more adaptively. However, there are alternative methods, such as tapping, buzzers, or auditory signals in each ear that achieve similar results. I find some of my clients who are neurodivergent tend to prefer these methods instead, which allows them to use the most appropriate tool for their reprocessing. Once a client reaches the reprocessing stage, I help them recall specific distressing memories and any negative beliefs they hold about themselves. We also focus on the positive beliefs they want to adopt. Throughout this process, I guide them through their chosen method of bilateral stimulation, which we would have already discussed and tested in earlier sessions. In a nutshell, this process allows the brain to “digest” the traumatic memory, desensitizing the client to its emotional impact and facilitating a healthier, more adaptive understanding of the event and belief. Adaptive is the key word here: we cannot change memories, but through bilateral stimulation and reprocessing, we can alter the way

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Close-up of a woman in distress with eyes closed and hands in hair, expressing anxiety.

Healing Beyond Trauma: Embracing Fragility on the Path to Recovery

When we talk about trauma, we often hear phrases like, “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” or “Trauma is what shapes you into who you are.” While these well-meaning expressions are often used to encourage resilience, they don’t always reflect the reality of the trauma experience. In fact, for many people, trauma doesn’t necessarily make them stronger—it can leave them feeling fragile, sensitive, and disconnected from themselves and the world around them. The path to healing from trauma is not linear, and it’s essential to acknowledge that it’s okay to feel broken, lost, or fragile at times. The Hidden Cost of Trauma Trauma, whether physical, emotional, or psychological, can have a profound impact on our lives. It affects our bodies, our minds, and the way we interact with the world. When you go through something painful or life-altering, you may not always come out the other side more resilient. Instead, you might feel more vulnerable, like the weight of your past is an anchor that pulls you back rather than allowing you to move forward. For many survivors, trauma can result in: Emotional Sensitivity: Traumatic experiences can heighten emotions, leaving you more easily triggered by things that might not have affected you before. What once felt manageable can now seem overwhelming. Dysfunction in Daily Life: Trauma can make everyday tasks feel exhausting or impossible. Whether it’s work, relationships, or self-care, the basic functions of life can sometimes feel like too much to bear. A Sense of Fragility: After experiencing trauma, it’s common to feel like your emotional and mental walls have been shattered. You might feel exposed or even incapable of handling future challenges, creating an overwhelming sense of vulnerability. Healing Is a Process, Not a Destination The healing journey is not about forcing yourself to be “strong” in the traditional sense. It’s about embracing your fragility, being gentle with yourself, and understanding that healing takes time. It’s okay not to be okay. You don’t have to bounce back from trauma immediately, and you certainly don’t have to do it alone. Here are a few important steps to take as you navigate your healing process: 1. Acknowledge Your Pain The first step in healing is acknowledging the pain. It’s easy to push down emotions and pretend things are okay, especially if others expect you to “move on.” But in order to heal, you must give yourself permission to feel what you feel—without judgment. Trauma is not a reflection of weakness; it’s a part of your story that needs to be understood, not buried. 2. Practice Self-Compassion Be kind to yourself. Trauma recovery is often accompanied by feelings of guilt, shame, or self-blame. You may wonder why you didn’t handle things differently or how you could have prevented it. This self-criticism only deepens the wounds. Practicing self-compassion means treating yourself with the same care and understanding that you would offer a loved one in their time of pain. 3. Seek Support Trauma doesn’t heal in isolation. Seeking support from a therapist, support group, or trusted loved one can provide you with the safety and understanding necessary to heal. Therapy, in particular, can help you explore and process the trauma in a safe, nonjudgmental space. Remember: you are not a burden, and your healing journey is valid. 4. Allow Yourself Time Trauma doesn’t heal overnight. It’s important to give yourself the time and space to process your emotions, thoughts, and experiences. Be patient with yourself. Understand that healing is messy, and there will be good days and bad days. Every step forward, no matter how small, is progress. 5. Create a Healing Environment A safe and supportive environment is crucial in your recovery. Surround yourself with people who respect your boundaries and understand your need for space. Engage in activities that nourish your mind, body, and soul. Whether it’s through meditation, creative outlets, or simply being in nature, finding ways to ground yourself can help you reconnect with a sense of peace. Moving Forward with Fragility It’s important to realize that there is no “right” way to heal from trauma. Every individual’s journey is unique. You don’t need to fit a mold of strength or resilience if that doesn’t reflect your experience. Healing is not about becoming invincible; it’s about finding a new sense of peace and acceptance within yourself, even in your fragility. If you’ve experienced trauma, remember that you are not defined by it. Your feelings are valid, and your path to healing deserves to be respected. Embrace your fragility, because it’s part of your strength—the strength to survive, to seek support, and to continue moving forward, one step at a time. If you’re struggling with trauma, know that therapy can offer a safe space for you to process, heal, and rebuild. You don’t have to face it alone. You are worthy of support, healing, and peace.  Healing is not about pretending to be “stronger” than you are; it’s about being real with yourself and taking each step toward recovery, no matter how difficult. If you’re feeling fragile, sensitive, or disconnected—you’re not alone. The process may take time, but with compassion, support, and understanding, you can rebuild a life that reflects the resilience that lies within.

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Embracing 2025: Throw out those New Year’s Resolutions!

As the clock strikes midnight and we usher in 2025, you might feel the familiar pressure to craft the perfect New Year’s resolutions. Lose weight, save more money, or finally stick to that gym routine—sound familiar? While resolutions can be motivating, they often set us up for failure by creating rigid, all-or-nothing goals. This year, let’s take a different approach. Instead of resolutions, focus on intentions and mindful growth. Here’s why ditching resolutions could be the key to embracing a healthier, more fulfilling year—and how to do it. The Problem with Resolutions New Year’s resolutions often fail because they: Focus on outcomes over processes: Resolutions like “lose 20 pounds” or “save $5,000” emphasize results rather than the actions needed to get there. Feel like a chore: Resolutions can feel restrictive, leaving little room for flexibility or joy. Create unnecessary pressure: When we slip up, we often abandon the goal altogether, leading to feelings of shame or failure. Instead of setting rigid resolutions, focus on creating a lifestyle that supports ongoing growth and self-compassion. Why Intentions Work Better Intentions are about how you want to feel and who you want to become. They’re flexible, encouraging small, meaningful actions that align with your values. For example: Resolution: “I’ll work out five times a week.” Intention: “I’ll prioritize movement that feels good for my body.” Intentions leave room for life’s ups and downs while keeping you focused on positive, sustainable changes. Here’s a step-by-step guide to ditching resolutions and setting intentions instead: 1. Reflect on 2024 Before looking ahead, take time to review the past year. Ask yourself: What brought me joy? What challenges did I overcome? What do I want to carry forward? Self-reflection helps identify what truly matters to you, making your intentions more meaningful. 2. Choose a Word or Theme for the Year Pick a guiding word or theme that embodies the energy you want in 2025. Examples include: Growth Balance Connection Courage This word acts as your compass, helping you stay focused throughout the year. 3. Set Daily or Weekly Micro-Goals Break your intentions into small, actionable steps. For instance: Intention: “Cultivate mindfulness.” Micro-goal: “Spend 5 minutes meditating each morning.” Small, achievable actions build momentum and confidence over time. 4. Practice Self-Compassion Remember, progress isn’t linear. Life happens, and it’s okay to adapt your intentions as needed. Celebrate your wins, no matter how small, and be kind to yourself if you falter. 5. Focus on Habits Over Results Instead of fixating on outcomes, aim to build habits that align with your intentions. For example: Instead of “Save $5,000,” focus on “Track my spending weekly.” Instead of “Lose 20 pounds,” focus on “Cook healthy meals at home 3 times a week.” Habits create lasting change, while resolutions often lead to burnout. Intentions for Mental Health in 2025 The start of a new year is also a great time to prioritize your mental health. Here are some intention ideas to inspire you: “I’ll prioritize self-care without guilt.” “I’ll nurture relationships that bring joy and peace.” “I’ll seek help when I need it, knowing it’s a sign of strength.” “I’ll practice gratitude daily to focus on the positives.” Make 2025 the Year of Mindful Growth By letting go of rigid New Year’s resolutions and embracing intentions, you can approach 2025 with self-compassion and flexibility. Instead of striving for perfection, focus on small, meaningful actions that align with your values. Ready to start the year with a healthier mindset? Therapy can help you explore your goals, set intentions, and navigate life’s challenges. Looking for Support?If you’re ready to embrace mindful growth in 2025, reach out to schedule a therapy session. Together, we can create a personalized plan to help you thrive in the new year.

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lights hung near a window during holidays

Navigating the Holiday Season: Managing the Anticipatory Anxiety

The holiday season is often painted as a time of joy, connection, and celebration. However, for many, it can bring a wave of anticipatory anxiety. The pressure to meet expectations, social obligations, financial stress, and even the memories tied to past holidays can create a whirlwind of unease. If you’re finding yourself worrying about the holidays before they even begin, you’re not alone. Here are some actionable coping strategies to help you manage anticipatory anxiety during the holiday season. Understanding Anticipatory Anxiety Anticipatory anxiety involves excessive worry about future events, often accompanied by feelings of dread and a sense of being overwhelmed. During the holidays, this can manifest as concerns about family dynamics, financial strain, or simply not living up to societal expectations. Practice Grounding Techniques When anxiety strikes, grounding techniques can help anchor you to the present moment. Here’s how to start: 5-4-3-2-1 Technique: Identify five things you see, four things you feel, three things you hear, two things you smell, and one thing you taste. Deep Breathing: Breathe in for a count of four, hold for four, and exhale for six. Repeat this process until you feel more centred. Set Realistic Expectations: The “perfect holiday” is often an unattainable ideal. Instead of striving for perfection, Create a holiday plan that aligns with your values and priorities. Communicate boundaries with family and friends early to avoid last-minute stress. Give yourself permission to say no to events or traditions that feel overwhelming. Focus on What You Can Control Many holiday stressors are beyond your control. Shift your focus to what you can influence, such as: Setting a budget for gifts and sticking to it. Choosing to participate in traditions that bring you joy. Deciding how much time to spend on social activities versus self-care. Plan AheadIf you’re worried about family gatherings or social events, preparation can ease your anxiety: Practice responses to difficult questions or conversations. Arrange for breaks during events to step outside and breathe. Bring a calming object, like a stress ball or favourite scent, to keep you grounded. Have a trusted person check-in with you (either text, call, or if they’re there in person) – this provides you an “out” if you need it. Practice Grounding Techniques Amid the holiday hustle, self-care is often neglected. Make time for activities that recharge you: Exercise regularly to release tension and boost endorphins. Maintain a consistent sleep schedule to prevent fatigue. Engage in mindfulness or meditation practices to reduce overall stress levels. Looking for More Support? If you’re struggling with holiday-related anxiety, reach out to schedule a therapy session. Together, we can create a plan to help you manage stress and embrace the holiday season with a sense of calm and control.

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